It's everywhere

I'm realizing that the hardest part about all of this sociological education is seeing it everywhere. My brain has not stopped thinking about this since the first week of class. It started looking at people and wondering "Hmm, I wonder if they are genetic males or females? They have such and such traits, perhaps this is an androgen insensitive male?" or such things. This was not emotionally taxing, but rather just an interesting way of seeing the world.

Now days it is watching movies and thinking "Hmm, here is one more example of females being told that sex is truly their only asset" or "Hmm, this message was very clear... men are superior to women... as shown by the fact that that man just pushed a woman's head down to shut her up." This is very emotionally taxing, and though it is good and an interesting way of looking at things, it takes a large toll on me.

Even in movies where this gender structure is portrayed satirically, it ends up leaving a sting on my emotions. Sure, this movie (or what have you) is presenting terrible gender socialization in a humorously mocking light (which is nice)... but the structure is still there. All one would have to do to see that is turn on MTV and watch some music videos. And not only is it still there, it is incredibly overbearing.

I keep telling myself (reminding myself) that social structure changes. These things shift. And they can shift for the better. Compared to 60 years ago, we have made significant strides in making a more equal society. Look at women's rights. Look at gay's rights. No, not all of our goals have been achieved, but we're making head way.

That being said, it is so easy to let the structure get the best of you. It is big and it is powerful. And it does (and will) take much effort to change it.

There is something else that I want to talk about today.

We watched another movie in sociology today (This one was called Dreamworlds 3*). Another very hard, very real look at the way things are in our society. There was a lot of information given in the movie, but going with what Dr. McKinney told me last week, I feel it is most important to simply write about those parts that really hurt me the most.

For the first while of the film, it was interesting but nothing that I hadn't seen before. It involved a lot of practically naked women dancing very sexually. The music had been stripped so what we saw was the video and what we heard was the narrator. In doing this, it gave an interesting perspective on these videos. Unfortunately (or ingeniously) because there was no verbal or other auditory stimuli, it became very hard to pay attention (I've grown up in a world where TV scenes change every 15 seconds, give me a little break). All of the sudden (so it seemed) the movie took a huge dive into a very hard issue, and my attention was locked. I sat in my chair and absorbed things that I, as a male, have never even considered to be a part of life (for men or women).

It all comes down to entitlement. Men, as the culture tells us, are entitled to women's bodies, which are nothing more than sex objects for men to use to make their fantasies reality. They (we?**) don't consider that women might not want these advances (or they/ we just don't care). What is so hard about this, is that it becomes violence... which becomes what? The movie didn't answer that question, but I don't think it needed too. What happens to a girl who becomes raped because the social structure said that you, as a man, get to take what you want from women when you want it? I haven't read much literature on rape, but I've know girls who have been raped or sexually assaulted, and I've seen the damage that that can do to a girl or even an adult woman, and I know that it is not a pretty thing or anything easy to overcome.

What happens to the girl who gets beaten by her husband because the structure tells him that women are not worth more than to have sex with, so when she does something wrong, she gets punished by her husband in the form of physical violence? I do not know anyone (that I am aware of) who has been beaten by her husband, but I've heard and read accounts. Enough to know that this is incredibly damaging as well.

This is what we are constructing. It is not the tight, skimpy outfits that get me upset. It is not even the violence itself that gets me so upset. It is the after math. What becomes of these women who have had their bodies defiled because men were entitled to it? That is what make me cry.

I have more to say about violence, and some interesting thoughts on where it comes from (that I read in a paper this week by James Gilligan) but I will save that for a different time.

*This link takes you to a site that gives you a preview of the movie and a synopsis.

http://www.mediaed.org/cgi-bin/commerce.cgi?preadd=action&key=223

**I am not sure if I should include myself in the group of "generalized men" or not. Yes, I am a man. However, I do not have the same traits that many men in society have, especially after taking this class. I am uncomfortable with the idea that I would be lumped into that category, but it might be appropriate. In all honesty, I just don't know.